This May marks one year of my official singledom. Throughout people have sparked my interest and there have been a few near misses and a few might have beens, but circumstances and life changes have got in the way. For a while in my last relationship I lost my independence and a sense of who I am and so in the past year I’ve re gained so much of what I lost and I finally feel like me again. I’m not an expert on making it through the single life, but I thought I’d share my insights and experiences from the past year.
Being single DOES NOT mean you are alone.
Whilst it might suck being the only single one at friends parties, family gatherings and on those lonely winter nights, it doesn’t mean you’re alone. Actually being single will remind you of all those around you who you may have lost contact with through lack of time before. Make the most of your new found freedom and reignite old friendships, because after all, those are the people who will always have your back.
Dating is not that scary.
In a world filled with Tinder, POF and Match, after 4 years out of the dating scene, the thought of having to go through all of that again terrified me. Bar one terrible date, for me most have gone swimmingly and whilst none of them have ended in me finding “the perfect match” they’ve been an important way of me realising what I do and don’t want out of a future relationship. If you do opt for the modern side of dating though,be sure to stay safe, meet in a very public place and always let someone know where you are at all times and NEVER EVER take any unnecessary risks.
Me time is necessary AND important.
For years I wouldn’t go anywhere alone, the thought of even walking to the corner shop terrified me, but one day I made the decision to go clothes shopping all by myself and do you know what, it was strangely liberating. I could take 20 minutes in a changing room debating if an outfit was just right without having someone nag at me to hurry up. Now I prefer to shop alone and just recently it gave me the balls to man up and take a risk and move to a new place for a new job that I quite frankly love to bits! So take a risk and use this new found freedom as a chance to do something a bit crazy.
I have spent years going straight from one relationship into the other, never really knowing quite what I was looking for. The past year has given me some breathing space to figure out who I really am and what I actually want from life and the kind of people I want in it. I’ve grown stronger in myself and I now won’t be taken for a fool. Sometimes it’s good not to rush things and watch life just take the reigns for a bit, they say things always happen when you least expect it and I think the saying holds some weight to it.
Most of all, do what makes YOU happy.
After being out of the dating game for so long, every time I met a potential new flame everyone had something to say. The new ‘rules’ of dating can be mind boggling. “Don’t be too available.” “Don’t go on a date more than twice in a week.” “Don’t text him back for half a day, you’ll get him really interested.” Are just some of the gems I have been given. The way I see it, you will know in your heart how you should act around someone, so just do what makes you happy. If being single and taking some you time is what you need, then do it. Just do you and in time, someone will see you as you are and you won’t really even have to try at all.
Until Next Time
(Images in post courtesy of Gratisography royalty free photos.)